What does Deb Dana mean by “glimmers”?

Leading sustainably means prioritizing self-care. The leaders I coach often see self-care as taking time off, getting exercise, and scheduling spa days. Therapist Deb Dana says we also need to be looking for what she calls “glimmers.”

Let’s say you have a big meeting coming up where you have to give a presentation. It’s not make-or-break, but it’s close. You’ve been preparing all week.

But about an hour or so before the Zoom call is supposed to start, when you think you should be going through your notes, you recognize you forgot to fold the laundry. And for some reason, you just feel compelled to do it.

Ten minutes before the meeting starts, the clothes are folded and neatly shelved. You get yourself together, chiding yourself a little for being such a neat freak. But when you get on the call, you find you’re more focused than you expected, and the presentation goes well.

What just happened?

You, Dana would suggest, may very well have been in the presence of a glimmer.

Glimmers are essentially the opposite of triggers. Triggers move us out of feeling grounded and connected with ourselves and others. And as we know from contemporary culture, triggers are often related to experiences of trauma and adversity. Triggers can also be unique to every person. Depending on your story, what triggers you may be different from what triggers someone else.

Dana argues that glimmers work in the opposite direction. They move us back into balance, and they keep us there.

Therapist Aundi Kolber compares glimmers to the water and energy bars we might get when running a marathon. They help us when we’re depleted and help us keep going. But for the glimmers to help us, we need to take them when they’re offered.

Kolber calls this “compassionate resourcing,” and it’s vital for helping us navigate adversity. And just like our triggers, glimmers can be unique to us. What nourishes us may be quite different than what nourishes someone else.

With those things in mind, look at the example. Instead of seeing your exercise in last-minute clothes folding as an example of your distraction or lack of focus, you might see that the opposite was true.

You already were nervous and distracted. Folding those clothes is how you got your focus back.

Now, folding clothes won’t do that for everyone. (Not for me. My go-to for writer’s block is trail mix.) Important thing is to be curious about what resources you.

Over the next few days, pay attention to the little things that help you feel grounded and at home with yourself. Put them on a list.

Then, when you find yourself doing those things, pay attention to how they might be helping you reconnect with yourself.

And after you do that, lean in. Enjoy what you’re doing. You’ve found a glimmer.

Want to find your glimmers? Book your free Discovery Session here.