I’ll be your companion
Carl Jung said the bigger a problem is, the less likely we’ll be able to solve it. Our greatest problems, he believed, can only be outgrown. That insight defines how I coach leaders.
Jung’s observation goes against the grain of contemporary Western humanity. Psychotherapist and grief counselor Alan Wolfelt says we’ve bought into what he calls the medical model of dealing with human problems.
In this model, we position the “fixer” (physician, therapist, leader, consultant, mentor, etc.) as the “expert” who proposes a course of “treatment” designed to help the “patient” solve their particular “pain point.”
Pain points are important. We need to respond to human suffering where it occurs. The problem, Wolfelt argues, is how the medical model guides our response to adversity.
Wolfelt observes that the Latin root of the word “treatment” means “to drag.” And the word “patient” comes from the word meaning “passive suffering.” So when an expert offers a “treatment,” they’re literally dragging someone through whatever they’re “prescribing” to take away that person’s discomfort.
However well-intentioned the medical model may be, Wolfelt believes it fundamentally misunderstands how true healing and change happens. Like Jung, he argues that the deepest, longest-lasting changes happen through growth, not treatment.
As a result, Wolfelt describes a different model of care he calls “companioning.”
Instead of seeing a passive patient, he sees the client as a grown-up, an equal.
Instead of “doing to,” he strives to “be with” people facing adversity.
Instead of offering treatment, he extends his compassionate curiosity.
Instead of resolving people’s pain, anxiety, and uncertainty, he helps them grow through it.
This is countercultural advice. But after decades of walking alongside people dealing with the deepest pain possible, Wolfelt believes companioning is the best way through adversity. Through it, we can:
Learn to face the reality of our lives and the adversities we face.
Grow through our uncertainty and pain.
Tell our story differently.
Embrace new roles and responsibilities.
Rediscover our purpose and potential.
Build relationships that truly support us over the long term.
This is what I strive to offer clients. As a coach, I don’t diagnose or treat, which means I won’t be dragging you through the mud.
Instead, I will be your companion. I promise to be there with you, giving you space to reflect, asking questions, listening, and helping you grow.
Do you want a companion on your journey? Book your free Discovery Session here.
