Try softer this Thanksgiving
Today is Thanksgiving in the United States. Traveling, cooking, hosting, and navigating the conflicts around the table are so stressful. We’re trying so hard. What if we followed therapist Aundi Kolber’s advice and tried softer?
Sure, there’s lots to do today. We need to get those things done. But even if it may not seem that way right now, we always have the power to choose how we do them.
Try this. Take a minute and read through the following questions, which are based on questions in Kolber’s book “Strong Like Water.” As you do, pay attention to what you notice in your mind and body.
Out of all the things I have to do, which do I most want to savor?
What if I take things slowly today?
How can I speak to myself kindly today?
How can I do this gently?
Who can help me with all I have to do? How do I need them to help me?
What if I broke this into smaller steps, instead of trying to do it all at once?
How can I notice when I’m feeling overwhelmed? How can I calm myself when I do?
Where do I need to be kind to myself right now?
How can I treat my body with care and respect?
Pick one that not only feels doable to you but also pulls you immediately from feeling like you're in the “red“ or “yellow“ zones—that is, feeling overwhelmed or ready to jump out of your skin—into feeling “green“ and good to go.
Now, write that question down and put it where you can see it. Over the course of today, think about your question and look for ways to lean into it.
How does that question change how you’re supporting yourself?
What new things do you notice?
What might you be able to do better?
If you have time, put what you learn in the comments.
Trying softer today can change how you lead yourself throughout the coming weeks, no matter what you’re celebrating. And it can change how you lead yourself every day of the year.
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