Broaden Your Palette
Some leaders in my coaching practice have learned that emotions have no place in their work. But emotions are inescapable, and ignoring or suppressing them actually weakens us as leaders.
In “Anatomy of the Soul,” psychiatrist Curt Thompson writes that if the mind is an engine, emotions are the gas in the tank. They move our minds from one state to another. They organize how we think. They direct our attention. They get our body moving.
Yet, most of us run around as if our minds were running on empty. In “Anatomy of the Heart,” Brené Brown tells of a study her research team conducted that asked over 7,000 people to name all the emotions they could think of. The average number, she says, was three: happy, sad, and angry.
How would you do?
The results, she argues, show the vast majority of us are trying to paint our lives with an emotional palette with just three colors. Our pictures will have large gray spaces where our limited colors can’t give us the full picture.
Even if we consider ourselves skilled painters, if we have a limited emotional palette:
We won’t be able to notice some of the most important things going on around and inside us.
And because we can’t notice them, we won’t be able to express them.
And because we can’t express them, we won’t be able to understand them.
And because we can’t understand them, we won’t be able to make different choices.
So we need to broaden our emotional palette by expanding the number of emotions we can recognize and name.
We have a lot of work to do. In her book, Brown names no less than 87 emotions. That’s just the tip of the iceberg, especially when we remember we can hold multiple emotions at once.
That’s the essence of emotional intelligence. And my coaching can help you build that strength:
Imagine being able to notice emotions as they arise in both your mind and body.
Imagine knowing how to recognize and talk about your emotions—even strong ones—without being overcome by them.
Imagine understanding the thoughts and behaviors these emotions spark.
Imagine being able to choose different behaviors that enable you to lead without your emotions leading you.
My coaching provides a space where you can build these skills. Interested in learning more? Book your free Discovery Session here.
