Starting with the Ending
I recommend William Bridges’s “Transitions” to coaching clients going through personal or professional change. He sees the big movements of our lives as stories, with each part challenging us to do something new.
Bridges believes every transition story begins with an ending. To get something new, we have to leave something behind.
We encounter that ending in several ways. Sometimes, we’re eagerly anticipating the transition. Sometimes, life forces our hands. And sometimes, we’re too comfortable or scared to make a move we know we need to make.
We might be looking forward to a long-awaited promotion, for instance, and excited about the new projects and responsibilities that come with it. Yet, to succeed, we also have to leave behind colleagues, tasks we truly enjoyed—and the luxury of not having to take responsibility for things we once left to more senior staff.
We might come to work one day and find we’re no longer needed. Or we wake up to find out our partner doesn’t love us any more. Or we make a mistake we can’t fix. Or we or a loved one gets a diagnosis no one wants to get. Here, everything that came with our old life abruptly ends. We don’t have a choice about what we get to take with us. We just have to go.
We might complain for years about our job or a situation we know isn’t good for us. But we never make the change because we know it means giving something up: our salary or pension, our cherished identity as the “dutiful” or “responsible” one, or the sympathy from family and friends that comes from having the world’s worst career.
In each of those cases, we need to hold and let go of our ending. How we do this depends on the context, and it brings uncertainty and pain. After all, we’re losing something, even if it’s just the familiarity of our surroundings.
But if we don’t let go, we’ll never get to tell our story. Once we do, Bridges writes, we’ll discover our ending is just the start of a new chapter.
Imagine seeing your transition as an opportunity to clarify what’s truly important.
Imagine becoming the hero of your story, maybe for the first time.
Imagine embracing change with confidence and energy.
As your coach, I can help you achieve these results and more. Ready to go? Book your free Discovery Session here.
