How Far Away is Your Mountain?
You’re on a hike. In the distance, you see a mountain. How far away is it? Psychologist James Coan says our estimate depends on how heavy we feel our backpacks are. This insight is vital for coaching leaders struggling with burnout.
Coan argues that the human brain is constantly assessing how best we can use our energy. As we look along the trail, we’re soaking in information and taking bets on how many calories it would take to climb that mountain versus walking around it or just staying put.
The accuracy of that wager matters. On the one hand, we don’t want to be climbing mountains we shouldn’t be. But the mountain we think is too far away or too difficult to climb may actually be much closer and easier than we think.
Our wager will depend on three things. First, we’re going to lean on our past experience and knowledge. If we’ve hiked this trail before or know we didn’t pack enough water for a long hike, we’ll make different decisions than if we’re newbies.
Second, we need to assess how tired we’re feeling. If we're carrying too much in our backpack or feeling worn down, will see the mountain as farther away than it might be.
The third thing is maybe the most important: Coan contends that our tiredness also depends on the presence or absence of social support.
If we’re hiking with someone we care about who’s also encouraging us, our backpack will feel lighter, and we’ll interpret our experiences differently than if we’re hiking alone or with a discouraging jerk.
Transitioning from burnout means spending time in the wilderness. While we’re there, every mountain can feel too far away. Our backpack can feel so heavy we just want to sit or go back to where we felt safer. Back to the burnout.
Caught between our uncertainty on one hand and our burnout on the other, we get stuck. And when we get stuck, Coan’s model suggests that we need to get curious about three things:
How are our past experiences shaping our assumptions about the present?
How heavy is our backpack right now?
Who are our hiking buddies? How are they helping share the load?
As a coach, I’m often a hiking buddy for part of a person’s journey. Together, we can work together to test your assumptions, rebalance your backpack, and find the support you need to see your mountains more clearly.
Interested in learning more? Book your free Discovery Session here.